A tip which may save you from unnecessary pain

Never buy Aim toothpaste - even if it is $1.50 less than the next cheapest brand.

My Toilet

Every time I flush the toilet in my apartment it makes a sound like the roar of the MGM lion. This makes me grin, because I always imagine that the toilet seat is the gaping mouth of some wild animal.

A Slow, Painful Death

My office-mate Lindsay used to be a semi-professional figure skater. Lindsay also appreciates tidiness. Two weeks ago I placed a dirty plate and fork on the book shelf in our office - every morning Lindsay walks in, eyes the dirty plate and fork, and says nothing. I think it might be slowly killing her.

HEART!

As I was walking to campus I happened upon a little patch of grass where 2 squirrels, a flock of small birds, and a brown rabbit were all happily playing together (or at least hanging out). As I walked closer to the group, I was surprised by their reaction: instead of becoming panicked and running away (which seems to be the standard animal response to my advances) they just sat calmly and let me come very close. The experience was a little surreal. Could this be the first manifestation of some new mutant power? The ability to pacify cute woodland creatures - similar to Ma-ti's ability to telepathically communicate with animals. You may be thinking, "heart power? that is by far the lamest of all the planateer powers*." Well, you should know, that according to the resident Captain Planet expert on the Wikipedia staff: "Though not powerful in the way of action, Ma-Ti's power is considered by some to be the most important"



*"'heart power'? that's like saying 'soul force.'"

Neil the West Nile Victim

My friend Neil Aboshamaa has just been diagnosed with West Nile Virus. This is amusing for at least 2 reasons: 1) Neil's not-too-distant ancestors hail from the west bank of the Nile and 2) "Neil" is "Nile" spelled backwards...kind of.

Too funny.

Three Speed

Yesterday I was biking to church and as I passed a group of young men I heard one of them shout "Three Speed!!!" I am not sure if the salutation was intended to mock my old bike, or if he was just showing off his knowledge of 1968 Nassaus (much in the same way that a child might point at my bike and shout "red!") - either way, the jokes on him: the gear shift on my bike broke several weeks ago, so technically it is only a one speed.